Monday, March 2, 2009

Well i figure i will start by telling you all about my daughter, and why she is such a miracle!

To start with i have an angel baby who watches over us daily. Her name was Winter Nova. She was born March 28, 2005 and weigh 12 point 6 ounces and was 10 1/4 inches long. Winter was born at 22 weeks.

I then got pregnant again and found out the day before thanksgiving in 2006. I unfortunately lost that pregnancy due to miscarriage...on christmas morning.

January 4th 2008 i was at work and it had dawned on me, my cycle is like clockwork...3 days soooner every month. so i started to think "i believe i had my cycle on December 4th so it should have started on the 1st! When i left work, i stopped and got a pregnancy test. And it of course was positive within seconds, i didnt know how to feel, should i feel happy? excited? scared?
i was all of the above. I called and scheduled my appointment with the doctor given my prior pregnancy history. They got me in that week. My first ultrasound had me nervous as it only showed the sac and the yolk sac but they said i was only 5 weeks so i thought okay, i wont see more then that at 5 weeks! i scheduled my follow up ultrasound for 2 more weeks out, when i went there it was! Her heart beat just beating away! I had a big sigh of relief. Because of my past i had doctors appointments once a week (This was the longest 6 months of my life) and ultrasounds once a week, because they didnt know WHY i had Winter so early. When i was 16 weeks, they showed a small change in the cervix measurement. and again it was changed at my 19 week ultrasound, so they sent me to the high risk hospital to discuss what the next step was. There, they did another ultrasound to see what they got for measurements, the appointment was scheduled and i was put on bedrest until the day they would put my cerclage in. That day came at 23 weeks. The highrisk doctor told me he would be surprised if i went even one more week so i said well im gonna go longer! well i did. i went to my appointment at my OB for my cervix to be measured at 26 weeks everything looked good. Later that day when i got home i was in some pain and thought i felt wet down there, so off to the hospital i go. Keep in mind i have no idea WHAT to think and i have as sad as it is refused to bond with my baby because i was scared of what the outcome would be, i knew i loved her and wanted everything to be fine. I get to the hospital and within a few minutes im being given the steroid shot for the baby's lungs and am told im going an hour and 15 minutes away to the high risk hospital. i freak! im scared and i dont want to be alone. They took me by ambulance and that is where i stayed until she was born because my membranes were buldging.

On June 11th i called my mom at 4:30am and told her i was up all night in pain, she asked if i had told the nurse and i said nope because when i do they tell me its not labor. So she demanded that i should. i paged the nurse and when she came in she had the resident come see if i had dialated anymore past the 5 i had been at all week with them giving me some pill to stop labor. well i had gone to 7 cm's so they took me to labor and delivery. The doctor came in and the nurse was trying to get me started on Mag. but it was too late when she checked me i had gone to 10 cm's and they had no chance to pull the cerclage because at this point, they couldnt even feel it, it had ripped my cervix. they kept offering me pain meds but i refused because i knew that she was going to be small to begin with and i didnt want her to have anything else in her system. at 8:32am my daughter joined the world. I waited for the cry but i was warned she may not cry as i was only 27 weeks. well she did! she tried anyway...she sounded more like a cat but she tried..TWICE! they got her cleaned up and on the vent and wheeled her over to me for about 30 seconds before they wisked her off to the NICU.She weighed in at 2lbs 8oz I waited 3 hours and was finally able to see my baby girl.

The Neonatologist came in and explained to me that her lungs were very very sick and that he had to be honest, it was fatal. I didnt know what to think. I just wanted to see her! When i entered the NICU i just started to cry they had her on the ocolating vent and she was so small and helpless. I called and spoke with the pastor of my church and he prayed with me on the phone (this was about 12 hours after she was born) and im telling you...PRAYER WORKS!!!! because when i hung up the phone i went back up to the NICU and they said we dont know how this is possible for her because of how bad her lungs were, but she is ready for the conventional vent! i just sat there with more tears and i KNEW that was the hands of God touching my little girl. The next day (thursday) i was there with my sister and it was about 7:55 and the nurse came up and said this baby amazes me! and we believe because she is on such a low vent setting she can go on C-pap! i watched them switch it over. I looked at my sister and i smiled i said "its 8:00 pastor Brown was praying around 7:55" again i knew it was gods work! Amanda remained on C-pap for only 8 hours. From there on she was breathing room air. She passed her eye exam, her hearing exam EVERYTHING! i dont know HOW but we had NO setbacks the whole NICU stay. On day 20 they decided she could be moved to the Continuing Care Nursery, she was now there to eat and grow! Amanda spent a total of 45 days in the hospital and was supposed to come home on July 23rd but...she had her first set back...she started to have destats and they found she needed a blood heart was broken i was looking forward to bringing my princess home. I spoke with the doctor and she said if all went well they would send her home on Saturday and she could come home on an apnea Monitor. She came home on July 26th weighing 4lbs 2oz.

Her doctors are very amazed with her and how well she has done. She is very smart and they cant get over the fact that she was born 3 months early but right on developmentally for her actual age rather then her adjusted age.

I thank god everyday for my daughter and my family, because i didnt go through this pregnancy alone my whole family was there and Amanda means the world to them all.

Now Amanda's name was a secret. I had everyone believing that her name was going to be Alexis Mariah. But she is named after her Aunt, Amanda Lee :)

im sorry this is so long but i wanted to get out as much as possible...forgive me but i know i left LOTS out.... i will at a later time post then and now pictures of Amanda who is now 14 lbs 2 oz and 25 inches long...and will be 9 months old on the 11th! i cant believe we will be celebrating her first birthday in just 3 months!

Thank you for reading

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